Let’s face it, sometimes there are days when we have to master our emotions so they don’t seep into the world around us. Either you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed” or a mistake is made that you are beating yourself up about. Perhaps a decision you made in your relationship or business is leaving you agitated. Whatever the reason, emotions are hard—and even harder to control. Listen to this episode as we talk about what to do when your emotions get the best of you.
Highlights From Our Conversation
- [0:50] What do you do when crap hits the fan
- [3:36] Identify what is causing you to be off
- [7:25] Recognize there are gonna be bad days
- [12:00] Establish a “reset button” in your relationship
- [13:00] Personal examples of what we have been through
- [14:34] Things you can do to get back on track
- [15:40] The law of attraction: don’t put your problems on a pedestal
- [18:45] Change how you look at the problem and change how you look at your partner
- [23:15] When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change
- [25:00] Resources we recommend
What do you do when crap hits the fan?
Everyone has those days, right? Where, for whatever reason, we are cranky and irritable and can’t seem to shake our foul mood. Sometimes we are at each other’s throats. No one is proud of it but it happens. So what do you do about it so it doesn’t negatively affect your relationship?
Take some time and identify what is off.
You know when you’re off, so take the time to figure out why. Did you oversleep? Did you forget to pay a bill? Whatever the problem, it’s important to identify the issue. Don’t let an external issue become an internal conflict that affects how you treat each other.
It’s okay to not be okay—but don’t wallow in it
Just let that sink in. It’s okay to not be okay. But you need to confront your emotions and deal with them. Whatever fear, guilt or shame that is motivating you to beat yourself up needs to be let go. If you lash out at your spouse because of your own inner frustration, apologize immediately. Acknowledge that you’re in a bad state of mind and that you will work through it. Ray likes to say “catch the monster while it’s small, don’t let it eat the whole city”.
Likewise, extend grace to your husband or wife if they’re having one of these days. Odds are they are beating themselves up over whatever is happening internally, and they don’t need you to build on those emotions. We have a couple of tools we utilize: our own personal reset button and “I can’t stand myself”. Continue listening as we explain what those mean to us!
Do something to clear your head and be the master of your emotions
So once you’ve established that you need an attitude adjustment, it’s time to take action. Ray likes to go to the gym, take a walk, and meditate to work through his feelings. I prefer to do yoga or go outdoors and spend some time walking in the grass barefoot—it’s an incredible way to ground yourself. Whatever we do, we change up our environment and try and get a fresh perspective.
Another tool we both 100% agree on is to practice gratitude. Sure, I forgot to pay some bills on time, but we have the money to pay those bills. It won’t affect our credit because it never happens. Do not focus all of your attention on your problem, but focus on being thankful. Listen as we talk about some very personal stories and what we do to practice gratitude.
When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change
This quote, most often attributed to Dr. Wayne Dyer, is a mantra we live by. We choose to no longer put our problems on a pedestal. Instead, we shift our focus to what we are thankful for and all those problems seem so small and insignificant. As we begin to shift our focus, the negative emotions begin to fade away as we choose to embrace joy.
Ultimately, happiness and fulfillment is an internal game. When we focus on our self-care and navigating away from those harmful emotions, we also grow closer together. We are both on board with this marriage and this business, and that means overcoming and mastering our emotions so we can be the best versions of ourselves. Listen to the rest of this episode as we cover some invaluable tools you can use in your relationship.
Resources & People Mentioned
- Subscribe to our newsletter for the “7 Game Changers” PDF
- Les Brown “Getting Unstuck” YouTube Video
- Tony Robbins: Learn How to Make Tough Decisions
- Tony Robbins: Ask Better Questions
Connect With Ramon and Christy
- Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
- Ray’s Instagram – @OfficialRamonGonzalez
- Christy’s Instagram – @ChristyRisco
- Facebook – Ramon Gonzalez
- Facebook – Christy Risco