Are you struggling to find happiness in your everyday? Do you find yourself comparing your life to a social media reel, and it doesn’t measure up? If you find yourself struggling with questions of who you are, what your purpose is, and how to be happy—you aren’t alone. We all struggle at one time or another with questioning who we are. In this episode of Both on Board we chose to be vulnerable with you and open up about some of life’s deepest questions.

Highlights From Our Conversation

    • [0:50] Figuring out who you are
    • [4:55] Challenge: get silent, meditate, and listen
    • [9:45] Alignment, action, and adjustments
    • [13:20] Expect things to work out
    • [16:00] Fulfillment is different for everyone
    • [18:05] What we need to stop doing
    • [22:00] Identify the root cause of your lack of happiness
    • [24:25] learn to embrace the blank space in your calendar
    • [27:45] Simplify and make room for joy

Find answers in meditation, prayer, and silence

Many of us are driven by a need to plan out every aspect of our lives. We want to know why we’re here on this earth and what our purpose is but at a total loss of how to figure that out. So we’re constantly on the go, constantly filling our time, just hoping things fall into place. Ray was challenged recently to spend some time in meditation—without listening to music—simply listening to his own breathing.

It required him to give up control

As an entrepreneur, this is a struggle! We are used to going out and doing more—not taking time to do less. When you sit and meditate, or pray, and just allow yourself to be open is when the unconscious begins to come to light. Ray likes to call it “thoughts on thoughts,” You’re taking some time to think about what unconsciously comes to your mind when you sit in silence. It can be uncomfortable, but it can be powerful. You can find answers to some of your deepest questions if you allow yourself to listen.

Figure out the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ and let the ‘how’ fall into place

Have you heard the phrase “We plan, and God laughs”? Often, we are so focused on planning something that we lose sight of other possibilities. We recently planned a charity event to raise money for kids who have been involved in human trafficking. We raised $60,000 in only 15 days. We had an exact plan for how we wanted everything to go—and ended up receiving more donations from people who didn’t come to the event.

Don’t become so focused on the how that you forget the reason why. Submit your plans to the Creator and find alignment, take action, and be willing to make adjustments. Focusing on every aspect of how something should be done limits the possibilities. Do you want something as you planned it, or do you want to allow God to take it and make it something bigger and better, faster? Keep listening as we talk about expectations, living in the present, and how fulfillment is different for everyone.

What is the root of your unhappiness?

Take one day and track everything you do throughout that day. Then, look back, and think about how those things made you feel. Did scrolling through Instagram bring you joy, or did it depress you? How did you feel about exercising, the food you ate, and the work you did? Are you spending your time immersed in television drinking alcohol because you’re trying to find an escape? Because you hate how you’re spending time?

Take back control. Find the root of your unhappiness.

Make two lists: one of the things you do, and another of the things that you love to do. Take those lists, and compare them. What can you eliminate that doesn’t bring you joy? Take responsibility and begin to weed out things in your life that aren’t serving you. If it’s not a hell yes for me—then it’s not happening! Remember, “no” is a complete sentence. What do you need to start saying no to?

Find happiness in emptiness

Wait—emptiness? That seems so counterintuitive, right? We just talked about learning how to say no to things that don’t bring you joy. What that leaves is an empty space in your calendar to invest your time. Take that white space and meditate. Go on a walk and enjoy nature. Immerse yourself in painting, music, or whatever brings a smile to your face.

For weeks, Ray and I found ourselves binging on Amazon. We constantly had packages being delivered of different things we “needed” but ultimately were just gadgets that we wanted. They cluttered our space and we weren’t satisfied with them. So we made a conscious decision to only buy things we truly needed. We began the process of simplifying, and when we did buy one thing that we wanted, it brought us much more joy than the many things we purchased just because we could.

This podcast was unscripted and we came with no agenda in mind—we simply wanted to be open and honest about our journey. Listen to the whole episode as we open up and let our thoughts flow about finding happiness and fulfillment.

Resources & People Mentioned

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