We tend to have the concept of giving and receiving twisted in our minds. You’ve all heard the bible verse “it is better to give than receive” (Acts 20:35). In some instances, this may certainly be the case. We applaud giving. But to give, your cup has to be full. To give fully, you have to learn to receive. In this episode of Both on Board we talk about giving from a place of abundance and learning that’s it’s okay to make yourself a priority.

Highlights From Our Conversation

  • [0:50] Integrating Giving and Receiving
  • [5:10] Take 100% responsibility for yourself
  • [7:20] Schedule self-care into your life
  • [13:30] Deservability: sometimes we don’t feel worthy
  • [18:00] Don’t look for perfection, look for consistency
  • [26:15] Change your perspective
  • [30:00] Giving to end human trafficking

It’s okay to make yourself your #1 priority

We are firm believers that to give 100% of yourself, you need to take care of yourself first. Give yourself permission to exercise self-care. This looks different for everyone—but find something that makes your soul happy. It could be yoga or working out. It could be drinking a hot cup of coffee watching the sunrise.

Don’t only give yourself “leftovers”. You deserve more than a stolen moment. 

For the first 18 month of Valentina’s life, I was all give give give. I gave her all of my time and energy, and I began to suffer. I didn’t eat well, I wasn’t meditating, I wasn’t doing yoga. My relationship with Ray began to suffer because I was trying to give out of a place of emptiness. Listen as we talk about prioritizing yourself first, and how it was the best choice for us.

Schedule self-care into your life

Once I realized I needed to flip the switch and reset my self-care routine I went a little overboard. I scheduled massages, hair appointments, nail appointments, etc. and filled my calendar. What I had intended to be self-care became a to-do list. I was doing all of these amazing things and it wasn’t making my soul happy.

So I took a step back and really clarified what my soul enjoyed.

Sadly, most people don’t even remember what fills them up anymore. Their lives have been so entangled with staying busy they’ve lost sight of what truly fulfills them. We want to challenge you to learn what brings you joy—then schedule it into your life. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming, it doesn’t have to be expensive, but it needs to be time spent filling your cup. 

Remember that you are 100% worthy of receiving

“I don’t deserve time off.”

“I don’t deserve a break.”

“My house is a mess, I need to take care of it”

It is time to overcome whatever lie you’re telling yourself or excuse you’re making. You deserve everything the world has to give you. You don’t need to earn anything. You are worthy. The concept of deservability is a problem and it needs to stop.

You need to cultivate an awareness of how you are treating yourself. Are the questions above lies that you tell yourself? Are you holding yourself to a standard of perfection that cannot possibly be reached? You may be experiencing anxiety and exhaustion in your life because you are not allowing yourself the self-care that you deserve

Keep listening as Ray and I talk about integrating self-care into our life and how we allow each other flexibility and compassion.

Our season of giving

Giving comes in many different forms, but right now we are blessed that can give monetarily. We’ve worked hard for years, and have co-created with God and the universe. We have opened up and allowed ourselves to receive the good things coming our way. We are at a point of overflowing and joyfully able to give. 

Ray had this vision for a charity fundraiser he wanted to throw. He worked hard, calling people and organizing this amazing event. He wanted to control the way everything went, and the more he tried to exercise control the more difficult things were. When he finally decided to let go of his attachment to the outcome, people began giving in big ways.

We doubled what we were hoping to raise. If you are interested in giving or learning more, we are supporting a charity geared at ending human trafficking—International Network of Hearts. A link to their website and our gofundme page are in the show notes!

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Ramon and Christy

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