You MUST Give up Control to Create, Ep #037

You need to give up control to allow co-creation to happen. Are you trying to force things to happen? Struggling to remain in control at all times and feeling like everything is continually out of grasp? We can actually control very little in our lives and that’s why we need to learn to let go. This episode of Both on Board is all about giving up control, meeting God halfway, and allowing things to happen.

Highlights From Our Conversation

  • [0:45] Creating vs. making things happen
  • [3:10] Control something vs. allowing
  • [7:45] Control leaves no room for joy
  • [9:00] Always return to a place of joy
  • [16:20] How do you identify where you’re at?
  • [18:15] Learn to operate out of discernment
  • [22:20] What are you attracting, choosing, and creating?

You need to align instead of grind

If you’re going out and grinding day-in and day-out and trying to will things into existence, you’re operating out of fear. You need to learn to see when you’re forcing things to happen instead of aligning with what is supposed to. The old adage is God’s delays are not God’s denials.

But honestly, sometimes God’s delays ARE his denials. 

If you’re trying to force into existence something that isn’t meant to be, maybe God IS saying this isn’t for you. As entrepreneurs, we want to control everything. But the truth is we can only control how we react, and the decisions we make.

Giving up control leaves room for joy

Operating out of a place of controlling everything means you’re operating out of fear. Out of scarcity. When I was pregnant, I tried to control every little thing. I read books, I did research, I tried to manage everything I ate and did. I found myself constantly frustrated and was driving myself absolutely crazy. It was honestly hard on us both.

I couldn’t control the pregnancy or how things would go. I was struggling and suffering. As Ray likes to put it, I had to shut-up and allow room for grace. I needed to start to focus on what felt good for me, not on what I think I needed to do. The better you feel, the better you show up—and I needed to show up for my baby.

So I signed up for a course to teach Yoga. I did something that would bring me joy and started the process of beginning to let go. I wasn’t going to let my desire to control everything steal my joy.

Set up “control” checkpoints

So how do you begin to operate in a place of joy, instead of out of fear? We like to start the day off on a high—meditate, do yoga, etc. Do whatever it is that centers you and starts from a place of gratefulness. Then, you set up checkpoints for yourself throughout the day to reflect on your actions and reactions.

Are you acting from a place of stress?

Are you making excuses?

Are you allowing external circumstances dictate how you feel?

If you take a few moments a day to realign yourself you gain perspective. Perspective allows you to align with the co-creator and take aligned action. Do your part. Give 100% of what you have and allow the creator to meet you. Don’t force or dictate what you want to happen.

Learn to operate from a place of discernment

Giving up control doesn’t mean you make decisions hastily. But we believe you need to lead with your heart first, then your head. Your head is analytical and leads from a place of fear. Lead with your heart. Check-in with your “gut” feeling. Why do you feel the way you feel? Where is the feeling coming from?

Address how you feel, talk about it, confront it, and then make decisions. Find the truth.

Co-creating with each other, with God, and with the universe means making a plan—but don’t become attached to the outcome. Be humble and ask for help when necessary. But remember you don’t have to do it all. That’s not how things were meant to be.

Listen to the whole episode of Both on Board for our full thoughts on co-creation, giving up control, and living in a place of peace, love, joy, and abundance.

Happy New Year!

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